#1 NYT bestselling author Linda Lael Miller

Ladies Who Lunch

I went to lunch with Mary Ann and Jen today, and even though I’m still feeling sad, it was good to get out of the house.  We visited a favorite Mexican restaurant, talked things over, laughed a little, and enjoyed each other’s company.  Life goes on, thank heaven, and all any of us really have is today.  Here in Spokane, the sun is shining, the peonies and irises are still in bloom, and the roses are coming on, ready to take the stage when their short-lived sister flowers take their bows and retreat into the wings to await their next performance.  Seems to me, that’s a pretty good analogy for the cycles of life.  Flowers bud, bloom, and then, though they seem to die, they are actually working their incredible magic, matrixes of energy hidden away in darkness, hard at work on becoming next year’s glorious blossoms.  Maybe, on a spiritual level, it’s that way with people, too.  And pets.

And even dreams.  Perhaps, in the darkest hours, those nearly forgotten hopes we thought were lost forever are, in truth, shaping and reshaping themselves, somewhere out of sight, fixing to burst into our lives as something new and better than we could have imagined.   

Of course nothing blunts the pain of the immediate family and close friends when someone they love passes away, and such comparisons would be mere platitudes to them.  I don’t believe in saying things like, “It’s God’s will” to people still reeling from a loss, even when I am certain it’s true, which is most of the time.  They’re not ready to hear it, and that’s okay.  Better, in my opinion, to say, “I’m here if you need me,” and mean it.   Healing is a process, after all, and, like flower bulbs buried under winter snow, processes take time.  They’re also different for everyone; some of the bereaved want company, others to be left alone.

I plan to spend the weekend as I normally do–a little writing, a little reading/listening to books, playing with my dogs, petting my kitties, and being grateful for my many, many blessings.  

Truly, life is a gift, and it’s so important to celebrate the ordinary moments, for that is where most of us live.

I’ll be back on Monday, announcing this week’s winners of a signed copy of ONCE A RANCHER.  The new round will begin then; just comment, and you’re entered.  Two winners will be chosen at random, notified, and named on this blog the following Monday.  Or Tuesday.

:)  Enjoy your weekend.


37 comments to “Ladies Who Lunch”

  1. Theresa
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 6:17 pm · Link

    Words to live by!! Thank you Linda

  2. Phyllis Odell
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 6:17 pm · Link

    You must be a little north of me as my roses are in full bloom and have been for a little while. The wind and that rain together was a bit hard on them. But just beautiful. Glad you had such a great lunch with friends and now have a great weekend.

  3. Billiesue Sanders
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 6:28 pm · Link

    Sweet reflections, Linda.
    I appreciate your gentle tone.


  4. Linda Holmes
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 6:29 pm · Link

    My roses are budding right now my be open by the 4th of July. I’m in Illinois just uncover them the weekend before the Holiday, the weekend before that we had frost, so I didn’t uncover them.

    Still have some flowers to plant.

    Have a great weekend Linda.


  5. Jan
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 6:43 pm · Link

    Lunch with friends always is a “pick-me-up “. Glad you were able to enjoy lunch with friends.

  6. Virginia Horton
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 7:05 pm · Link

    What a lovely post Linda and so true. I am so glad you had lunch with friends its always a pick me up. I don’t do a lot of flowers here, I am lucky to keep the lawn mowed with all the rain we have had. I will spend the weekend cooking and cleaning and maybe get a few pats in with my kitty. He is out running around right now but will be in later for his patting.

  7. debbie
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 7:18 pm · Link

    our peonies are finally blooming-about 3 weeks behind-have to love new england.

    am sorry for your losses. take it one day at a time. my cousin lost her 30-yr old son couple of weeks ago-colon cancer, a rarity at that age. fought for almost 2 yrs-was stage 4 when diagnosed at 28.

    • linda
        · June 6th, 2016 at 1:18 pm · Link

      That is such a terrible loss. God bless you and your friend.

  8. Cecelia Kelsey
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 7:27 pm · Link

    When you speak about platitudes when someone dies, you are right because I was not ready to hear them when my son died. Grieving is different for every person and this took me almost two years to begin to emerge. People are not there for you after the funeral either. They drift away because it scares them and they don’t know what to say. Usually just an acknowledgement is all that is required. You are in my prayers and thoughts.

    • linda
        · June 6th, 2016 at 1:22 pm · Link

      You make a powerful point about people not knowing what to say. Better to risk saying the wrong thing, then sincerely apologize, than to avoid the bereaved. When friends lost their 22 year old daughter some years ago, very suddenly, people actually crossed the street to avoid running into them, not, I think, because they were uncaring, but because they didn’t know what to say in the face of such an incomprehensible tragedy. Also, I suspect, a lot of us are secretly afraid such calamities are catchy, like the common cold.

  9. Pamela Devereux
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 7:42 pm · Link

    Lunch with loved ones and friends is always a pick me up. Not able to plant flowers in our apartment but I do have a bamboo plant that every once in a while has a new shoot that looks like a plant.

  10. Fran Fee
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 8:10 pm · Link

    It’s always special to visit with friends and relatives and share old or make new memories. Life is much too short to waste it by being negative.

  11. Diana Eagen
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 8:28 pm · Link

    So true, Linda, a day at a time. Blessings.

  12. Diane Sallans
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 8:43 pm · Link

    it’s good to get together and remember fun stories about a loved one who has passed

  13. April Mc Vey
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 10:04 pm · Link

    When anything close passes on it always leaves a numbness to those left behind. Keep their friends and family close in prayer and thoughts. Reaching out during and after their dark clouds is important. Justify their loss is unimportant but actions are appreciated. Keeping in touch is so important. A simple hug helps get through more than words?

  14. Jo Ann Holcomb
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 10:07 pm · Link

    This was one of those weeks that was in the 100’s wishing you could be some place else but still in the same place surviving. Other times being grateful to be on my feet, having a job, & being able to read, walk, knit & survive. Sorry for your loss & grateful you are still writing your books & doing what your able to do. Going to still be very warm next week. best always, Jo Ann

  15. Melaine Langi
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 10:52 pm · Link

    Of the many flowers I miss, peonies are right up there near the top of my list along with lilacs, roses in abundance, tulips, and on and on.

    Have a great weekend, and remember all the good times with loved ones.

  16. Deborah Rae Nelson
      · June 3rd, 2016 at 11:05 pm · Link

    Life is a gift. Take care. You are loved.

  17. Ruby Norwood
      · June 4th, 2016 at 7:02 am · Link

    Such a sweet blog!! Take care Linda and enjoy your beautiful flowers, like you said life is a gift.
    Have a great weekend!!

  18. Jane
      · June 4th, 2016 at 8:30 am · Link

    Sad times for you and I am sorry for it. It’s good you have friends you can rely on at this time. Time will help, but not erase.

  19. Shirley Meyle
      · June 4th, 2016 at 8:32 am · Link

    What a beautifully written sentiment this was! We all have been there and getting more frequent as we are getting older now. So sorry you’ve lost another friend.

  20. Ann Bartholomew
      · June 4th, 2016 at 9:01 am · Link

    I always thought peonies were your favorite – they are mentioned in so many of your books. I wish the blooms would last longer. I also decided, from several books, that emeralds are your favorite stone. Right or wrong???

    • linda
        · June 6th, 2016 at 1:25 pm · Link

      Peonies are indeed my favorites, hands down. I do love emeralds, it’s true, but I’m certainly not averse to rubies, diamonds and most other precious stones. :)

  21. Lois Rotella
      · June 4th, 2016 at 10:30 am · Link

    Well said Linda. Some of us need people around and some just need to be alone and other enjoy have their pets for comfort. Have a wonderful weekend.

  22. therese lopez
      · June 4th, 2016 at 11:32 am · Link

    Very beautiful post. I recently lost my mother, on the 18th of May. The love of friends and their words of support and strength help make it through a very difficult time. Have a beautiful weekend.

    • linda
        · June 6th, 2016 at 1:26 pm · Link

      My deepest sympathies. That’s a huge loss, and I hope you’re being very patient and gentle with yourself.

  23. Louise McCourt
      · June 4th, 2016 at 11:39 am · Link

    Hope you have a peaceful, healing weekend…Again, thanks for years of great reading..

  24. Brenda LaFone
      · June 4th, 2016 at 4:58 pm · Link

    I agree with you and my prayers are with you.I lost my big sister 15 years ago and I still miss her every day

    • linda
        · June 6th, 2016 at 1:27 pm · Link

      So difficult. I’m so sorry you lost your big sister.

  25. Leanna
      · June 4th, 2016 at 9:55 pm · Link

    Have a nice weekend!

  26. Lori Rinaldi
      · June 5th, 2016 at 12:06 pm · Link

    I sooo understand what you are going thru Linda. Last Feb my beloved collie Luke died. I still am not over it, even thought we have a new collie girl Lily to help. My mom died on Dec. 13 and then my younger brother unexpectedly on March 24. I am still so sad and depressed at times! But I am trying now to start to become “Lori” again, you know??
    LOVE your books and looking forward to Once a Rancher!
    Enjoy your weekend! ( I work every weekend, so mine are usually ‘meh’ LOL!)

    • linda
        · June 6th, 2016 at 1:28 pm · Link

      Bless your heart, so many losses in such a short time. That really hurts, and I’m so sorry.

  27. Teresa G
      · June 5th, 2016 at 3:59 pm · Link

    So very sorry for your loss.

  28. Karen Dieffenbaugher
      · June 5th, 2016 at 10:30 pm · Link

    So sorry for your loss,,,,As we all know life is a blessing and as my husband and i are the older generation…we know that each day is simply a gift..Hope you had a great weekend..

  29. Michele J
      · June 6th, 2016 at 8:57 am · Link

    That was truly beautiful and touching. I am at awe with your words. Thank you.

  30. Linda Lattin
      · June 6th, 2016 at 1:47 pm · Link

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend. When we lose people we love it is always hard. We are truly blessed that we had them in our lives and that God gave us the ability to remember them and all the wonderful times we shared. I hope your memories bring you joy. God Bless

  31. Jeanna Cook
      · June 6th, 2016 at 1:57 pm · Link

    Hope you have a wonderful week this week and thank you for your wonderful words.

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