#1 NYT bestselling author Linda Lael Miller


My middle name

I was born Linda Lee Lael.
I imagine the angels chuckled at that, and would have suggested another name entirely.
Try: Linda RESISTANCE Lael.
I’ve been a scrapper, all my life. (During my Athena period, that was all right. We need to be warrior goddesses for a while, so we can define who we are, what we will embrace and accept, and what we want no part of, but too many of us get stuck in this phase.) Although I’m a fairly cheerful person, most of the time, I have a tendency to put up my dukes and dig in my heels when I meet up with something I don’t like. Now that I’m Hestia, the hearthkeeper, I’ve garnered enough wisdom to make a different choice.
Here’s what I’ve discovered, and I did it the hard way. You don’t have to.
Resistance repells. Whatever you don’t want, and resist, will get stronger, because by your very opposition, you are giving it something to push against, and build muscle.
Acceptance and Appreciation, on the other hand, ATTRACT.
When you hit a rough patch–hear me, now–you are resisting something. What is it?
Many of us resist scarcity. What happens? Scarcity gets stronger. You’re giving it purchase, something to push against.
Instead, try appreciating. Even if you only have $10, appreciate the heck out of that $10.
Here’s your assignment for today:
Make a list of 20.
20 things you can appreciate.
I don’t care how small or how silly they are.
Just do it!
Most of them aren’t so silly, are they? If you can get up in the morning and go about your business, you’re way ahead of a lot of people. Folks in wheelchairs and hospitals would consider that a major blessing. Do you have a family, however troublesome and annoying? Lots of lonely people would like to have a family. Ask that foster kid. Ask that guy under the viaduct. Or maybe you ARE a “lonely people”. You have solitude, and time for your own pursuits. That mother of four preschoolers could appreciate that. You live in a free country, however imperfect, where the pursuit of happiness is a right. Folks in Afghanistan and Iraq could get behind that.
You’re smart.
You get the point.
Let’s have that list of 20.
And every time you get discouraged, frustrated or angry, at least for the next little while, get out that list, take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and appreciate. You don’t have to be perfect at it, or even good. But just for today, shift your focus off the things you don’t want–flash: they get all their power from your resistance–and onto the things you DO want. You might be surprised to discover, when the emotional dust settles, that you already have many of them.
We’ll talk more about what to do with the list tomorrow.

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